BONJOUR L'ESTONIE

Oooohh ... George !

Bush's funny pictures ....

What many foreigners do for little money in Tallinn

* Just 50 miles across the Gulf of Finland from Helsinki, Tallinn gets a whopping injection of cash and conviviality from the more than half-million Finns who head across every year -- frequently on multiple daily ''booze cruises'' -- to exploit Tallinn's significantly cheaper alcohol.

Pockets filled with kroons (about 13 of them equal a dollar), motivated pleasure-seekers (not Finns only) can smoke Cuban cigars at La Casa del Habano, watch rugby over a pint at Scotland Yard, sip cocktails in the Scandi-chic interiors of R.I.F.F., boogie at the huge Club Hollywood or elite Club Prive, watch women lose their clothes at the Soho strip club, and then lose their own shirts at Bally's Casino.

Penguins are getting to cold Tallinn !

Brits ... If you are short of money for your car insurance, you may try this ...

* Cullen Skink wrote :

Hi, just passed my driving test and wondered are there any insurers in Estonia who are cheaper than most for new drivers ?

Rumour has it :

Get an EasyJet or Eurolines one way ticket to Tallinn. Buy a car there (very cheap) - it will come with compulsory traffic cover (issued by The Estonian Traffic Insurance Foundation). Legal for use in UK as 3rd party only cover. Give your Tallinn Hotel as your address when bying the thing.
Take short holiday whilst there and see sights, etc.
Drive it back.
Use it for 11 months.
Ignore parking tickets (other than in tow-away zones), speed cameras, London Congestion Charges, etc.
Drive it back and exchange it..Use a different hotel.
Drive replacement car back to UK.

YMMV. Does this work ? So I have been told ...

A woman without her man is nothing

An English professor wrote the words "A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.

- All of the males in the class wrote : "A woman, without her man, is nothing."
- All the females in the class wrote : "A woman : without her, man is nothing."

Punctuation is everything.
What do you think ???????? !!!!!!!!
Best wishes,
Zara

Germany and Estonia in marzipan feud

LUBECK  (UPI) -- A bitter dispute has erupted between Germany and Estonia over bragging rights as to which is home to the sweet candy marzipan, a Christmas staple in Europe.

Major festivities are planned next year in Lubeck on the Baltic coast of Germany, where Germans claim European production began 200 years ago at the Niederegger marzipan works.

"We will be throwing open our factory to all our customers around the world," said Willi Meier, a Niederegger senior executive.

However, in Tallinn, Otto Kubo, the founder of Estonia's marzipan museum said his country shares the founding distinction and just might have its own celebration.

"The sweet manufacturer Kalev was established in 1806, so it is exactly as old as the Lubeck confectioner," Kubo told The Times of London.

Those unable to attend either festivity can find a recipe on the Internet for making marzipan at marzipancakes.com.

Kas jõuluvana on olemas ?

* Kül te väiksed lapsed ka kunagi seda päris jõuluvana näete sest tegelikult on see kes teil iga jõul käib üks päka pikk kes on ennast suureks muutunud.Päkapikkud käivad jõuluvana asemel sest maailm on ju nii suur et jõuluvana üksi ei jõua igale poole!!!Häid Jõule ja Head Uut aastat kõigile lastele !!! Kül

* Muidugi on jõuluvana olemas! teile võibolla ei too jah jõuluvana kinke aga minul käib iga aasta jõuluvana ja ma tean et on olemas!!! päkapikud on ka olemas aga minul paneb vahel ema sussi sisse asju aga vahel ka päkapikk ja meil pole emaga saladusi nii et ma usun teda ja ta ei peaks mulle sellessuhtes valetama kuna ma saan selle k´unai ikka teada! igastahes jõuluvanad ja päkapikud on olemas !!! Anni

* No kuulge.isegi mina usun et on olemas ja ma olen juba 17 aastane. järelikult võite teie ka julgelt uskuda.
iseasi on see, kes sussi sisse või kuuse alla kinke toob. arusaadav ju, et jõuluvana ei jõua asju igale ühele tuua, siis emad-isad aitavad teda, aga jõuluvana toob kõigile neile, kes temasse usuvad muid asju, mis polegi asjad-näiteks headust ja rahulikkust. neile, kes temasse ei usu, ei too ta midagi, kingitusi nad saavad jah, sest oma ema-isa ikka teevad aga need lapsed on selle võrra palju õnnetumad, et jõuluvanasse ei usu ( sest siis jõuluvana ei too neile rõõmu näiteks ja mis neil siis üle jääb kui mitte õnnetu olla ?) kahju ainult, et nad teisigi õnetuteks tahavad teha.
mis päkapikkudesse puutub, siis neid näevad ka ainult need lapsed, kes nendesse usuvad, neil on selline võluvõime, et kui laps neisse ei usu, siis muutuvad nad tema jaoks nähtamatuteks. tehke siit omad järeldused !
Häid Jõule ! On olemas

* Mina arvan nii,et kes tahab võib ju nendesse uskuda kes ei ei pia.Isegi kui arvad või tead ,et neid on olemas siis võid ju ikka teisiti mõelda siis on ikka jõulu tunne ka.Ja kui jõuluvana ei olekski olemas siis sa ei pea seada ju väiksematele ja nendele seda ytlema ,sest nendel on ju tore kui jõuluvana ikka oleks olemas loodan et olete minuga nõus ! Häid Jõule !
NB:Mina arvan et te piaks ikka jõuluvanasse uskuma olgu teda päriselt olemas või mitte ! Ellyke

* jõuluvana on olemas sest ma olin köökis ja emme vannis ja kui ma köökist tagasi tulin siis oli minu armas beebi boonike (ja ema ei saanud see olaa sest ta ütles mulle et ta ei osta mulle ühtegi beebibooni) vot
ja mu sõber (noh ta on juba suur) ütles kui sa ei usu siis sinu jaoks ei ole jõuluvanat olemas ei ole ja su vanemad proovivad seda osa täita aga kui sa usud jõuluvanasse siis sinu jaoks on jõuluvana olemas ja toob iga jõulud mulle kingituse
vot
mu sõber on emakeele õpetaja Katry

Finns : Drinking ... ! Ourselves ? Never ....

* Once upon a time, there was this guy, or something, called Ilya the Recusant <q...@deadspam.net>, and they made us all feel better by saying the following stuff :

"Also : I ran into a girl from Tallinn recently. She says : "Hello" and : would you please stop coming over and getting drunk in Estonia ?"

We can't speak for the rest of the Finnish population (who the Estonians are free to maim, kill and rob as they wish), but we have never been drunk in Estonia.

In fact, every time I've been over to Estonia my in-laws have been so embarrassed by the Finns over there, they've pretended to be Swedish or English, or even American ... !

You heard me.

C&J

Serial tree feller caught in Estonia

* Estonia's serial tree feller, who stalked dozens of trees in a cemetery in the national capital, appears to have been caught in the act, police said on Friday.

"We arrested a 74-year-old man as he was cutting down a tree at Liiva cemetery with a handsaw," police spokesperson Reimo Raivet told reporters. "His answers to our questions did not seem very coherent, so we have handed him over to medical doctors."

More than 50 trees have been damaged at the cemetery in the past two months, their trunks cut halfway through with a saw.

Some trees fell on graves, damaging tombstones. Although no one was hurt, authorities feared the vandalism posed a lethal threat to visitors.

"We cannot say now what his motive was in cutting down the tree," the police spokesperson said. "We will continue the investigation into whether he is the serial feller after doctors say he is fit for further interrogation."

Cemetery workers who have stepped up inspections in recent weeks discovered four more damaged trees on Thursday and cordoned them off.

Another dozen trees had been marked, apparently destined to become the bad feller's next victims.

UFOs are big business in the former Soviet republics

* Mark Shippey (colo...@anti-grey.net) wrote :

"Sir Gilligan Horry (G...@ga7rm5er.com) wrote :
"UFOs are big business in the former Soviet republics and books and magazines sell very well. A recent book, published in Estonia, sold its first 20.000 copies in no time and are now out of print."

Aint freedom great ! The Soviet monster collapses and the next thing you know the UFO/alien operations are going full tilt, raking in the bucks and everyone is having a grand old time publishing, talking, making films.....
without a bunch of neurotic government thugs trying to slience them ! The people there now have the right to openly promote theories about the little, ugly, skinny, grey bug-eyed Space-Alien monsters.
Hehe.
Some of them don't look that ugly really.... Many animals look uglier.

http://images.google.com/images?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLG,...

Mystery woodcutter sets tree traps at Tallinn cemetery

TALLINN (AFP) - A mystery woodcutter has sawn halfway through about 50 trees in a cemetery in the Estonian capital Tallinn, leaving them liable to fall on and possibly kill visitors in strong winds, officials said.

"The trees have been cut halfway through so that they still stand but would fall down in strong winds," Jaak Taevas, head of Tallinn cemeteries, told reporters.

"There is criminal intent behind this, as any visitor could become a victim if such a tree suddenly were to fall down," Taevas said.

The mystery feller has been in action at the Liiva cemetery over the past two months but no one has seen him in action.

"The trees have most probably been cut with a small saw, at the height of a person's chest," Taevas said.

Cemetery workers start each ..........

Great currency conversions from US to Estonian sizes

* To help friends back at home, here are some basic conversions (and yes, this does read like a lame Yakov Smirnoff routine) :

1 American Dollar currently equals 13.25 Estonian Krooni.

5:00PM in the United States is called 17:00 in Estonia.

When it is 11:00AM in California, it is 21:00 in Estonia.

When it is 11/03/05 in California, it is 03/11/05 in Estonia.

In the United States, people wear T-shirts and shorts when the temperature is above 60ºF ; in Estonia, people wear T-shirts and shorts when the temperature is above freezing.

In the United States, you can drive on the highways for days ; in Estonia you can only drive for four hours – after that, you are in Russia or Latvia.

An American "Milky Way" candy bar is called a "Mars" bar in Estonia ; yet the American "Mars" bar does not exist in Estonia (it is an Estonian "Mars" bar with nuts).

No, I don't think a "Quarter Pounder with Cheese" is called a "Royal with Cheese" here.

The Baltic Sea has no waves and there are only two mountains in Estonia (both the height of my apartment building), yet there is a surf and snowboard shop near my house.

In the United States, when milk goes sour, we throw it away ; in Estonia, when milk goes sour, people drink it and it costs more.

In the United States, a gallon of gas in the U.S. is $3.00 ; in Estonia, it is twice that price.

In the United States, drivers avoid hitting pedestrians ; in Estonia, pedestrians run from cars.

In Estonia, all high-school students can identify the United States and Estonia on a map ; in the United States, many high-school students cannot identify the United States on a map and even more think that Estonia is a fictitious country from "The Flintstones."

An American appetizer is the same size as an Estonian entree.

In the United States, people eat fatty orange American Cheese ; in Estonia, people eat fatty beige headcheese.

In the United States, beer is sold by the can or by the pint ; in Estonia, it is sold by the liter.

The average American weighs around 1.4 Estonians.

In the United States, pepper is a spice ; in Estonia, lard is a spice.

In the United States, fruit juice contains : high-fructose corn syrup and 20% real juice ; in Estonia, fruit juice contains : juice.

In the United States, movie theaters sell popcorn and candy ; in Estonia, movie theaters sell popcorn and candy and beer and wine.

In the United States, a loaf of bread has the shelf-life of two weeks ; in Estonia, a loaf of bread has the shelf-life of two days.

In the United States, waiters work for tips ; in Estonia, waiters do not get tips and you should be grateful that they even bother to notice you, let alone give you a menu, you stupid demanding American . . . Like what, am I here to wait on you or something !

In the United States, television news is about events in the United States ; in Estonia, television news is about events in the United States.

The Best Way To Get Mugged

Tallinn is on the coast – a port city – and it is a 2 hour ferry ride across the Baltic from Helsinki, Finland. Finns come here regularly for three major reasons :

(1) tourism,
(2) economic differences that make alcohol very cheap (fuel for being heavy and pink),
(3) the prostitutes here are skinner, prettier and cheaper than those in Finland.

There is a stretch of street that goes from the ferry dock to the brothels (euphemistically called “saun” (sauna-parlors)). This street is the best place to get mugged or pick-pocketed in this town. Street thugs hang out along this stretch of road, waiting to mug Finns en route to the brothels with cash in wallets.

ESTONIA BROKE

£2.4m drug barons face assets probe

By Russell Findlay

TWO Scots are set to be stripped of their heroin fortunes after admitting they masterminded a GBP 2.4 million smuggling racket in Estonia.

Robert Wright and Les Brown were sentenced to four years and seven months each last Tuesday - but were allowed home immediately because of the time they spent behind bars before the court case.

A Scots police insider said : "We are going after their assets. We are looking at all their properties and bank accounts."

Wright, 38, lives in a  GBP 500,000 mansion, complete with cinema, in West Lothian.

At one time, he owned his own Formula One racing car and a fleet of other expensive motors.

Brown, 49, who also has considerable assets, lives in Bearsden, near Glasgow.

Police nab bank robbery suspects

Two men from Estonia were arrested over the weekend following the mid-afternoon robbery of a bank in the heart of downtown Oslo. The armed robbery, which occurred just across the street from Norway's Parliament, shocked tourists and locals alike.

Guests at outdoor cafes in the area were stunned when the three burly robbers, all believed to be in their 20s, marched into the Fokus Bank at Karl Johans Gate 25 and then stormed out again amidst screams from bank employees and customers.

One of the robbers flung the ski mask he'd been wearing right into the lap of a woman who'd been sitting at an adjacent cafe, enjoying a cup of coffee.

The men fled on foot and reportedly hopped into a taxi cab. Two men, both from Estonia, were arrested Saturday afternoon at the Anker Hotel on Storgata in Oslo.

The two Estonians arrested, age 23 and 25, were found in possession of large amounts of cash that police believe came from Fokus Bank. The bank hasn't released how much money was stolen.

Police continue to search for two more men, believed to have been involved in the robbery as well. They also want to question the driver of a taxi it's believed the robbers used, but no taxi drivers had reported in to police as of Monday morning.

LIFE IN THE ESTONIAN FAST LINE

*The recent scandal with Estonia’s police chief, Robert Antropov, once again illustrates a quality largely peculiar to Estonians : an intolerance of impropriety. Mr. Antropov was “caught” using a police vehicle to take his parents to Saaremaa Island. As he later claimed, his personal car would have been too small for the task, so he used a government automobile. Immediately the press impugned the police chief, and calls for his resignation resounded.

Honestly now – is it fair to begrudge Antropov – nay, vilify him – when all he wanted to do was to drive his parents to the countryside in a government car ? If a healthy society promotes family values, then what’s so awful about a government official giving his mom and dad a lift in an official vehicle ? The police chief should be required to pay the gas bill, and the case closed.

But not in Estonia. In the national quest for perfection – or, said differently, in the national witch-hunt against imperfection – Antropov will be stripped of his EUR 600.00  monthly bonus for at least six months and deprived of his summer holiday. All because he wanted to help out his parents. So much for family values.

Oddly, when tendering his resignation, Antropov said he realized he had injured the public’s “sense of justice.” But what sense of justice is this ? It is not as if the police chief quashed an investigation into a crime committed by a relative. He did what any compassionate son or daughter would do. Besides, as every professional police officer knows, the call to duty never ends. A cop is a cop around the clock. It is curious how things would have unfolded if, while taking his parents to Saaremaa, Antropov had become witness to a crime, or even prevented one from taking place. What would the perfectionists say then ?

Indeed, the obsession with impropriety, which now smacks of holier-than-thou double-standards, is reaching a summer climax in sultry Estonia. Last week the country’s agriculture minister, Ester Tuiksoo, was criticized for using a siren while rushing to, according to reports, a Tartu nightclub. Apparently she had received official permission to use the siren, which allowed her to exceed the speed limit and make it to her destination on time. It was unclear whether the trip involved official or unofficial business, but media reports pointed out that, other than the minister, no one of status had been present at the nightclub. Estonians want a government that is closer to the people, just as long as leaders stay out of the fast lane.

Perhaps this heightened fascination with ministerial road-manners is a function of the summer lull :  Nothing newsworthy is taking place, so let’s see how our government leaders behave themselves. In a country such as Estonia, which has one of the highest road fatality rates in Europe, it might serve the public good if people paid more attention to how they behave behind the wheel.

Interior minister decides not to accept Antropov’s resignation

TALLINN – Interior Minister Kalle Laanet decided on Monday not to accept the resignation of police chief Robert Antropov after the latter was criticized for using his police vehicle for personal use.

Laanet did say, however, that Antropov would be stripped of his EEK 9 500.00 (EUR 600.00) monthly bonus for at least half a year and would not be able to have a summer holiday.

Laanet said that Antropov had hurt the public’s sense of justice when he gave his parents a ride in a police jeep to the Saaremaa Island.

Last week Antropov had submitted his resignation less, saying he wanted to uphold the police’s reputation.

Probe begins against police chief

TALLINN- Estonia's Interior Minister Kalle Laanet has ordered a disciplinary investigation against the director general of the Police Board, Robert Antropov, over his decision to use a police vehicle for private purposes.

Laanet said he would make up his mind about Antropov after the end of the probe, most likely next week and not later than July 20.

The minister met with the police chief on July 14 to hear his explanations.

"Today's meeting did not provide a full picture of the incident. In legal terms, the Taxation Act and a decree regulate the use of official vehicles for private purposes. Whether this concrete instance comes under these rules has to be clarified", Laanet said.

Finns and the fine art of drinking

By Therese Catanzariti

How to drink ... the Finnish way.

Date : 14 July 2005

It's easy to pick who is flying Finnair at international oneworld lounges. They're the ones drinking beer at 6am.

Finns like a drink. Finns have a reputation for liking a drink. But strangely, official sources say that Finns don't actually drink as much as other Europeans. It just looks that way.

The Finnish Ministry of Foreign Affairs' website candidly admits “in per capita consumption of alcohol countries such as France and Italy are ahead of the Nordics. Yes, but the boozers are much more noticeable up here in the north because they drink simply and solely to get legless.”

Finns binge drink. Nothing during the week. Nothing with meals. And then comes Friday night.

And Finns are such public drinkers. In the park. Walking down the street. By the river. Earlier this year, Richard Tomkins in the Financial Times discussed how British-awkward he felt seeing someone eat crisps on the tube. It's awkward seeing such open public binge drinking after living in alcohol-free zone streets Sydney. And you do see it – maybe in other countries they can slink around under cover of darkness but in summer midnight sun Finland you see it all in its swaying swaggering colourful glory. There's no shame, no embarrassment in public drunkenness.

Finns don't go out to bars to get drunk. They pre-party. They invite a ...........

Estonians snatch world wife-carrying title again

SONKAJARVI, Finland (Reuters) - Estonia reigned supreme once again in the wife-carrying world championship on Saturday, as Margo Uusorg sprinted home to win the Baltic country's eighth straight title in the offbeat competition.

Forty couples from 10 countries gathered in the remote Finnish village of Sonkajarvi to complete a 253.5-meter-long obstacle course. A man must carry a woman, not necessarily his spouse, through a pool and across hurdles.

The few rules require a minimum weight of 49 kg (108 lb) for the "wife" and state that all contestants must have fun.

Uusorg, 25, completed the course in 59 seconds with friend Egle Soll, 23, clinging to his back in the trademark "Estonian Carry" -- hanging upside down with her legs clenched around his neck.

Uusorg's prizes were his partner's weight in beer and a high-tech mobile phone.

It was his fourth victory, and the third in a row for his family. Brother Madis won in 2004.

"We don't have a secret, we just try to run fast and hope the ........